Humans operate about 90% of the time from their subconscious or unconscious mind—that is, the feeling/emotional mind. Essentially, we’re emotional beings. We feel emotions not just from experiences but from merely imagining them. Don’t believe me? Try this: imagine that dream holiday you’ve been planning. Notice how the thought of it brings happiness, even though you’re still at home. Read more: What is the Subconscious Mind?
Now, imagine applying this understanding of emotions in real life. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the key to navigating both our own emotions and those of others in personal and professional situations. But what is emotional intelligence, and how can we improve it?
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as to perceive, interpret, and respond to the emotions of others. The term was popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman in his book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ”, published in 1995.
Unlike IQ, which measures intellectual ability, emotional intelligence is about how well you navigate the complex world of emotions—both your own and others’. It’s a critical factor in building strong relationships, succeeding in the workplace, and maintaining resilience in the face of challenges. Read more: How to Move on in a Relationship
In today’s world, EQ matters more than ever. Reflect on the many ways a lack of emotional intelligence can lead to problems, such as making poor judgments, engaging in bullying, remaining in toxic relationships, or struggling with workplace dynamics. Developing emotional intelligence helps us manage stress, improve communication, and foster healthier, more supportive relationships.
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How Do Develop Your Emotional Intelligence?
Here are five powerful strategies:
1. Self-Awareness
Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It’s like looking in a mirror—not to see your reflection, but to understand your emotions. What makes you happy, annoyed, or frustrated? By identifying these feelings, you gain insight into how they affect your behavior.
Think of self-awareness as peeling an onion, layer by layer. Get to know your strengths, weaknesses, and emotional triggers. One useful tip is to disassociate yourself from the emotion. For example, instead of saying, “I am sad,” say, “I am feeling sad.” This small shift in language allows you to step back from the emotion and view it more objectively. The better you know yourself, the better you’ll handle life’s ups and downs.
2. Self-Regulation
Once you’re aware of your emotions, the next step is self-regulation—managing how you react to them. It’s like being the CEO of your emotional world. When emotions run high, take a breath, count to ten, or take a walk to regain composure. The goal is to respond, not react. Read more of my blogs post
Self-regulation isn’t about suppressing your feelings but finding healthy outlets to process them. Whether it’s journaling, talking to someone, or engaging in a hobby, the key is to release emotions in ways that don’t harm you or others. It’s about releasing pressure from the balloon before it bursts.
3. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes—to understand their feelings, even if you don’t agree with them. Empathy builds deeper connections by showing others that you respect and acknowledge their emotions. It’s about building bridges rather than walls.
Empathy doesn’t mean becoming a pushover or always agreeing with someone. Instead, it means fostering an environment where individuals feel truly heard and understood. You can disagree with someone’s viewpoint, but showing empathy allows for constructive, compassionate communication. Read more: How to Develop a Winning Mindset
4. Being Present—Active Listening
Being present means truly listening when someone speaks. This is linked to empathy but goes deeper. It’s not just about hearing the words but focusing on the person in front of you, without distractions. Put away your phone, maintain eye contact, and actively engage in the conversation.
When people feel genuinely heard, they’re more likely to open up and share their emotions. Active listening strengthens your connections with others and enhances your ability to empathize. It’s a simple, yet powerful tool for improving emotional intelligence.
5. Analyzing Emotions
Lastly, emotional intelligence involves analyzing emotions—not just your own, but others’ as well. When someone expresses how they feel, encourage open conversation. Break the societal taboo of avoiding emotional topics. Openly discussing emotions fosters personal growth and strengthens relationships.
By talking about your feelings and helping others express theirs, you create an atmosphere of understanding and emotional safety. This level of openness leads to more authentic and meaningful connections.
In Conclusion: The Power of Emotional Intelligence
Developing emotional intelligence is about knowing yourself, staying in control of your emotions, understanding others, and creating a space where feelings are acknowledged and respected. By practicing self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, active listening, and emotional analysis, you’ll notice a shift in how you navigate personal and professional relationships. Read more: 10 Habits of Successful People
It’s not always easy, but building emotional intelligence can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life—and help you better understand the emotional world of those around you. Give it a try, and see how these strategies can smooth out life’s rough edges.
